In a Daily Merde exclusive, Cupid Love, his full name, gives the inside poop on what Valentine's Day means to him.
DM: Thank you for taking time out of your busy schedule to talk with us today.
CL: Not a problem, it's my pleasure. I have a few things I'd like to get off my chest.
DM: Like what?
CL: Well, I have some serious allergies.
DM: You?!! But you're a demi-god.
CL: I guess it's the demi that did it to me. But seriously, I do have several allergies that make my 'big day' a real pain in the ass. First off, I am allergic to roses.
DM: But... But..
CL: I know, I know... let me tell you the Fates have a real twisted
f%@#ing sense of humor. But it gets worse... I also have a nut allergy AND a chocolate allergy.
DM: How do you function on Valentines Day?
CL: (leaning in close and almost whispering) I use a look-alike.
DM: Cupid uses a proxy?
CL: I am no fool. My look-alike is imbued with all the love and passion that is Cupid but he is just someone without all of my handicaps, as it were. We even have a blue-tooth communication system so that I can guide him if the situation becomes a little tricky. I learned to do this the hard way.
DM: The hard way?
CL: One word: Oedipus.
Cupid was then called away to handle an emergency. We overheard something about Angelina Jolie and Rush Limbaugh.
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