Washington DC Name Changed

Congress has decided that the name of our nation's capital needs to reflect what actually goes on in Congress. No longer will it be known as Washington D.C. (District of Columbia), it will from here on be referred to as Washington D.C. -- Developmentally Challenged.

SAG Awards to be Renamed

In an attempt to stand out from the crowd, the Screen Actors Guild has decided to rename the SAG Awards.

When asked the impetus for the change, SAG President, Ken Howard, denied the reason was because of the impression the awards were for actors who have avoided the surgeon's knife.

"No," Mr. Howard started, "we decided the name should be more of a reflection of the true nature of the award."

The new name is 'The Circle Jerk Awards'.