No Sweat, a fraternal organization for sweatshirts, held a press conference today discuss one of the top issues faced by hooded sweatshirts in the modern age.
Noir 'Hoody' Sweatshirt, the president and CFO of No Sweat, began the press conference with the usual pleasantries before stating his true purpose: "Ladies and Gentlemen of the press", Mr. Sweatshirt began, "I am here today to discuss an issue that has been a sore spot for the hooded sweatshirt community. We are tired of being used by common hoodlums as a means of disguise. The taint of these ruffians' actions has damaged our community for far too long."
"Look at what has happened to Ski Masks. They can no longer show their faces in polite society. We, members of the hooded sweatshirt community, can no longer sit idly by while our good names are being dragged though the mud. We will no longer be complicit in these illicit acts."
When asked asked how sweatshirts were going to follow through with this agenda, Mr. Sweatshirt said the details were yet to be stitched together.
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