Top Exec Has Plan to Save Company Money

Richard A. Head, VP of Financial Misinterpretations for Omninational Integrated Network Knowledge, has devised a plan that he believes will save his company, and possibly countless others, on it's bottom line.

We obtained a snipit of Mr. Head's new strategy:

1. Outsource company restrooms to an overseas company specializing in rooms of rest.
2. Phase out staff who aren't high paid executives. The benefits of this will be two-fold:
   
   1. There will no longer be the financial drain of workers who actually produce
   2. With productive staff eliminated, there will be more money for executive bonuses
3. Have the remaining employees wear 'Swiffer' shoes; layoff cleaning crews.

Although it could not be confirmed by post time, there is word of a possible fourth bullet point: Outsource all brain functions.

Biz News: Tech VP Learns How to Copy and Paste. PowerPoint Now a Breeze

Silicon Valley, CA:  A senior VP, of a cutting edge tech company, has discovered a process that can save significant time and money:  copying and pasting.

The exuberant VP could be heard shouting with glee from his desk, "POWERPOINTS ARE SO MUCH EASIER NOW!"